


you lit the fire (the fire that burns inside us)

by dingletragedy



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Jealousy, M/M, Tumblr Prompt, a little angst a little fluff a little sexy times, aka jealous!callum, i'm not really sure what this is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2020-04-24 20:00:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19180390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dingletragedy/pseuds/dingletragedy
Summary: There’s a door, somewhere in the back of Callum’s mind, that opens to endless possibilities; to the future, to happiness, to freedom.Only it’s jammed shut and he isn’t quite sure how to loosen it.





	you lit the fire (the fire that burns inside us)

**Author's Note:**

> gemma requested ben x callum & the prince albert opening on tumblr, and this is the result. 
> 
> again, i hope it isn't too awful, and at least somewhat in character!
> 
> title from fire that burns - circa waves.

If ever Callum needed an excuse to swerve a night out, it was tonight. Only he did have an excuse, didn’t he? Whitney was tucked up in bed with a case of flu, thanks to the horrendous summer weather, and Callum had every reason to stay home with her.

But he had one reason to be here.

And that one reason seemed to make him blind to all others.

Callum freezes then, when Ben walks into the bar, and an unfamiliar kind of tension settles in the plane of his back; tingles along his spine. He was yet to actually lay eyes on Ben, but he knows he’s just arrived, if the breakout of goosebumps littering his arms are anything to go by.

The music is turned up a notch, pounding in Callum’s ears, the base hammering in his chest. He’s surrounded by warm bodies pulsating, grinding, and oscillating around him. The stuffy room leaves an unfamiliar taste in his mouth; a mixture of  _confidence, happiness and belonging._

All the things Callum longs for, but is equally as afraid of.

Ben perches himself at the bar then, leaving only inches between him and Callum. Callum thinks,  _hopes_  he’s chosen this exact spot so he can talk to him, but it seems he can’t even get Ben to acknowledge him.

Instead, Ben turns his back to Callum, cold and harsh. He’s shouting over the music, as if he’s trying to make someone aware,  _Callum_  aware, of something.

And that something happens to be the attractive bloke he’s  _apparently_  brought along as his date.

_Dickhead_ , Callum thinks.

The bar sticky with the remnants of spilt beers and sugary cocktails under his elbows, and he orders himself another drink from his seat at the bar.

He should probably stop drinking so quickly. The alcohol already a bitter present in his stomach, weighed down heavily with the knowledge that Ben has all but forgotten about Callum, already onto his next conquest.

The growing ache inside Callum pangs in a different way, now driven by the possibility of Ben sleeping with someone else tonight.  _Someone who isn’t Callum._

The thought coils something foreign in his stomach.

Something unwanted, yet addictive.

A bit like the burn of the whiskey he’s just tipped down his throat in one swift movement. Callum isn’t sure which is more intoxicating: alcohol or Ben.

Ben moves away after a while, drags his date to the opposite corner on the bar, seating them in Callum’s direct view.

Callum can’t take his eyes off the pair; fixated and unwavering, despite the twinge in his stomach. He’s sure Bens not unaware of his staring either. Every now and then, he’ll look at Callum, hold steady eye contact for a few seconds, and then dismissively turn his head before place his hand back on the stranger’s thigh; dangerously high and with intent.

Suddenly this is the last place Callum wants to be; embarrassingly propping up the bar and being forced to watch Ben work his way into some strangers pants.

His legs itch to carry him out of here, but he doesn’t exactly want to go home, either.

He stands abruptly, the bar stool rocking with the force of his movements, before his feet take themselves in the general direction of the toilets.

He makes a slight detour, though. Arm brushing purposely against Ben’s back, knocking once;  _twice_ , with intent.

He looks both ways to make sure no one was paying him any attention, before he swings the bathroom door open and makes his way over to the sink. Trembling fingers gripping white around the bowl.

 

 

~~~

 

 

It doesn’t take Ben long to appear at his side, but when he does, Callum freezes again. Unsure of what to do, what to say, now they’re alone.

The bright lights; flashes of pinks, yellows, blues, greens are sneaking through the gap under the door. Illuminating the room in an array of a million colours. But all Callum sees is black and white.

_And a colour undetectable._

Callum turns then, hands hanging loosely at his side as he wills himself to look Ben in the eye. The air grows thicker, heavy with apprehension, and the smug grin on Ben’s face loses its sharp edge right in front of Callum.  _It’s endearing, really._

“What are you playing at?” Is what breaks the silence, Callum’s mouth working before his mind.

“Well you see, I was kinda summoned in here, and here I a-"

“You know what I mean.” He cuts Ben off, not in the mood for his smart mouth tonight. “Out there - with - with - him.”

“Oh. You mean that really  _fit_  bloke?” Ben prods, and Callum isn’t sure if he wants to hit him or kiss him. “Well, it’s called foreplay, but I’m sure you’d know all about that.”

“Shut up.” He manages to grit out, words harsh and cutting.

“What’s got you so riled up? Not jealous,  _are you?”_  Ben teases, mouth dropping in mock shock.

“No. I’m engaged.“ Callum tells him.  

“Yeah, I’m well aware of that. Thanks.” And something wavers in Ben’s voice; something that sounds undeniably like barely concealed pain.

It shatters something inside Callum.

“I-“ Callum starts. Unable to finish.

“What?”

They’re both quiet for a moment, aside from their heavy breathing and the wild beating of hearts.

It’s all Callum can do to surge forward, replicate Ben’s actions from the previous week and place a shaky hand against Ben’s cheek, catching Ben’s eyes which are holding Callum’s own.  _Fiercely, fiery, beautifully._

He shivers when their lips touch, keens into Ben’s mouth when their tongues collide immediately, too worked up to bother with pleasantries. It’s been too many days since he last got to do this, and it feels much like how he imagines the dessert feels when the first drop of rain hits after a drought.

There’s nothing soft about it, this time. No first kiss to test the waters, the waters have been well and truly dived into. And Callum is drowning in them.  _Drowning in Ben._

He’s in over his head, drowning and so close to the bottom he has to fumble around in complete darkness.

There’s something about Ben that is so undeniably unique, something about who he is that makes Calum want to crawl into him and read him like his favourite book.

He lowers his hand slightly, fingers toying with the short hairs scattering Ben’s neck, dipping to his collar bone. He finds Ben’s pulse there, fluttering wilding against his palm, the  _thump-thump-thump_ of it so quick that Callum can barely catch it.

He wonders how wildly his own must be pulsating.

Callum scrambles with his free hand to find purchase on the sleeves of Ben’s jacket, the leather slipping too easily from his nervous hands, causing them to stumble back into an open door of one of the stalls.

His stomach tightens into a knot of arousal, dropping into the pits of his abdomen and rolling around like a ball, sending up shivers every time it hits the sides of his body. Ben must sense it, because he gets a hand up under Callum’s shirt then, hand caressing taut skin.

With only a light press of skin-on-skin contact already Callum feels like his blood has been set on fire, wherever Ben touches him leaves him burning white-hot, much like a supernova.

Callum pulls away then, slowly and barely, the intensity of the kiss just toying on the line of  _too much_. His chest is fluttering, rising and falling with quick breaths that break against Ben’s hair.

“Alright?” Ben checks.

His voice is soft, like Callum has never heard before, it brings him back to the surface, washing over him gently, slipping into all his cracks.

_I am now you’re here with me,_ he thinks. Instead, he nods, and pulls Ben back into the kiss, tongue licking hotly into Ben’s mouth, aching for something.

_Aching for Ben._

There’s a door, somewhere in the back of Callum’s mind, that opens to endless possibilities; to the future, to happiness, to freedom.

Only it’s jammed shut and he isn’t quite sure how to loosen it.

But despite that, for the first time in weeks, he can see clearer, the fog lifting; for the first time in weeks, he’s gotten ahold of his feelings. _His **feelings**  for Ben_. He’s finally caught up to the program, finally knows just what, exactly, he wants.

_Who_  he wants.

Tonight.

_Or maybe, forever._

**Author's Note:**

> i'm @ dingletragedy on tumblr - please come and chat to me about these two idiots who are taking over my life! Xx


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